There is love in this word but where, is the one true question? Left alone in a room of blacking sorrow due to the loss of that one true love that I gave all my heart too. The question of why? Spin’s round and round within this saddened heart of mine. Why did it need to end? Why did she have to go? I am left here again with this damn lonely soul of mine. I want to run free out side in the sun with a smile brought forth by a woman’s love in my soul next to me. I want the goodness everyone else seems to already have. Me I'm without. Me I'm without the candle that lights the path to a life long reason to go on. To me love is true purpose and reason for a day to day existence. For me she was always my goal and my hope. Alone I sit and mope in a useless state where no one could ever want me. This is sadness due to loss of love.
I can not blame her for my own sorrow. It was me who devoted my self to her whole life. It was I that envisioned a life with her as my wife. I must have pushed to far beyond the point of what she wanted. I was selfish in wanting a woman to be mine and mine alone. I can not hate her for giving up on me. I am a broken man from all the others who said they loved me back before she came along. I was praying to God to let her be the one who will call me home when the day is done but she must not be the one for I am alone tonight and she is gone away from my soul.
A man with nothing can hope for greatness like everyone else in the world but when he try’s to hold greatness and knows it in his heart then looses it. That is the hardest to take. I have known true love and have held it in my heart but lost it. These Four walls seem to be my prison and loneliness is my sentence for which I will not know when I will go free from this prisons walls. Loss of love is a pain that moves with the body and seems to take all your mind with it. I cry sometimes when the lonely part of my heart ache’s. I have not a soul to go to that will really give me peace like she did when she smiled and told me how much she loved me. I hate to write these words down but it is my only way to leave the pain behind somewhat. I don’t think it will truly go away even if I was to write of heaven and how the angel’s have loved us with God’s hand on my shoulder. I just can not find comfort in nothing. I do not want you to feel sorry for me though. I have had this pain before but I thought it was gone when she came along. I thought life would grow into a beautiful one when I heard her say she wanted to love me forever. Forever is gone now. Now it’s back to the blackness of sorrow.
I will not do what most do when sorrow gets too great though. I will not kill this body of mine. I will not forfeit a life God gave to me. I just have to find a reason to live. I will look for my reason and hope that maybe that one true love will come back to my heart so I can stand again as a man with reason. It is in a woman’s heart that I have my life. I am the only man I know who would rather be married then be single but that is me and that will always be the best part of me. I will go to bed now and hope to sleep without that sorrow hanging in my heart. If only she was there. If only she would wake me with her smile by my side. If only she would be there with me to kiss away my sadness and the tears. I guess I will try not to think of it to save my soul from darkness. I will try not be left alone with sadness of loss…
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